


Bad Date

by Kweh



Category: Hazbin Hotel (Web Series)
Genre: Arson, Blood, Cannibalism, Fluff, M/M, Post-Canon, Radiosnake, Romance, all thirty minutes of it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-20
Updated: 2020-10-20
Packaged: 2021-03-09 02:55:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 571
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27117119
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kweh/pseuds/Kweh
Summary: Pentagram Zoo is just like everything else in Hell. At least the company is good.
Relationships: Alastor/Sir Pentious (Hazbin Hotel)
Comments: 5
Kudos: 52





	Bad Date

"Are you dripping blood on my brand new coat?"

Sir Pentious watches Alastor pause in the middle of licking powdered sugar and blood from his fingertips and leans a little more heavily back against the arm of the bench they’re sitting on together and hauls the bulk of his tail further up and across Alastor's lap. It has the added benefit of putting the edges of his waistcoat out of the way of any further droplets.

"Ah! So I did," Alastor says, bright eyes flicking down as he swallows and reaches out with stained fingers to touch the ruined embroidery. Sir Pentious swats his wrist and hisses.

"You still have blood on your hands!"

Canned audience laughter fills the air around them and the corners of Alastor's mouth curl ever further at the audacity, but he only wipes the offending fingers onto his own jacket and then reaches out again for the fabric. This time he manages to touch it.

"Hm." He casts his shining eyes toward a nearby food stand and waves to the employee crouched half hidden behind the counter. "Oh, hello there! Can you bring some cold water over here?"

"And a towel."

"Yes, yes, and a towel."

The employee hesitates only long enough for Sir Pentious to notice and look over at them before scrambling toward the fridge along the back wall. Within moments, they’ve rounded the counter and approached the two on the bench, trembling and silent as they hand off the items.

"Aha! So helpful."

The condensation on the bottle turns pink from Alastor's fingers and Sir Pentious sneers as it's handed over to him, but the towel solves the problem quickly enough, so he twists the cap off and starts carefully blotting at the blood stain while Alastor continued to work on the powdered covered bits of someone he’d acquired at the exhibits.

"I don’t think I like this zoo. It’s disgusting," Pentious announces once he’s satisfied with what little help the water can provide and he tosses it and the towel over his shoulder. “I thought this was a place to study and look at real animals, not this— _this_."

Alastor chuckles.

"Dinner at my place then?" Sir Pentious stares. "Or we could go see the snake house?"

"...Will Princess Charlie be there?"

"Naturally!"

"Fine, fine, all right." He slides his tail off Alastor’s lap and stands up, holding out a hand to Alastor while tugging his waistcoat back with the other. "I hope you know you’re never planning another one of these again."

Alastor takes his hand and bounces up onto his toes to press a quick kiss to Sir Pentious’ cheek.

"I thought you liked the aquarium?"

"Oh yes. I loved burning it down. Which is what I'm going to do to this place once I'm back on the airship."

"Then you’ll love what I have in mind next."

"What is it?"

There’s a soft static sound as Alastor wraps his arm around the elbow that Sir Pentious offers him and he grins, wicked and sharp.

"That's a surprise, darling, but tell me more about what we're going to do to the zoo."

Sir Pentious tightens his arm so Alastor has to lean just a little bit closer and then wind their way toward the exit.

"Do you remember all that napalm I stole last month?"

"You really have the best ideas."

"Oh, I know. That's why I'm the evil mastermind."


End file.
